Something I'm about to start working on. . .

I was semi-productive today. . .

And just in case any of you had started to believe that I have any degree of needleworking or blogging ability, a picture proving otherwise:



That's right. It's all been a sham. Clearly, Bella has been doing all the work. I have merely been taking all the credit because, well, I'm an evil genius.



And evil is true because I am working her to sheer exhaustion. She's falling asleep on the job!

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On a completely unrelated note, I was watching Nightline tonight because its on during that awkward, mostly Family Guy chunk of Adult Swim I choose to avoid when there are no decent talk shows on yet since NBC stole my Coco and replaced him with Gay Leno [Bazinga!]

Well, I turn the show on a few minutes in only to find Martin Bashir, the super professional, super proper host of the program, throwing about the term "Juggalo." My immediate reaction was of course to laugh hysterically. Even Martin Bashir's perfect Queen's English could not make the term Juggalo sound even the slightest bit acceptable in adult conversation.

And then they began interviewing two of the actual members of the Insane Clown Posse. And then it got real.

Bashir: . . .people could call your lyrics juvenile and indecipherable. What do you say to that?


Random ICP Jackass: Well if they're like you, yeah they might because you sound smarter than a muthafucker right now.

Wow. Just wow.

But the story went on. Turns out it wasn't so much about ICP but about the many brutal murders and rapes being committed across the country by self-proclaimed Juggalos.

And all I could think was, how could people commit any kind of crime in the name of a "musician" who is thoroughly impressed by someone using words like, "juvenile" and "indecipherable?" Dude, did you even finish High School?

Oh wait that's right, you dress like a clown for a living. And not just any clown, but a clown who mistakenly believes he can rap.

Far Behind. . .

Well hurray for not making deadlines!

I know, I know. I promised wonderful little embroidered goodies for sale on Etsy by 2/20/10. It is now 3/9/10. I am fully aware of this.

I am close though. In fact I'm off all week for Spring Break and I plan on working on nothing but Etsy stuff. And, you know, homework. I guess that's important too.

But, on the bright side, I have a new computer!!! I'm working on getting Photoshop so I can edit and put together some embroidery patterns I've been working on. It's gonna be pretty awesome.


Now on to the craft porn!

Those of you who found me through the ever-fabulous Craftster have probably already seen this.



And this:



Well, they will both be for sale soon! In addition to a "Rugrats" version I'm finishing up and an "Alvin and the Chipmunks" version I have in mind.

And, for a real teaser, here is a sample of some of the patterns I'm working on.



Remember, that's just a teaser and very, very far from what I plan on the finished product looking like, but it gives you an idea.

And now I'm off to stitch and watch "The View." Apparently today they are going to detail the history of the Menstrual Cycle [no joke] and explain why cramps "are actually a good thing!" <---[a very excited, very male announcer made this bold claim.]

I am not convinced, male voice of "The View." I don't think anyone with a vagina is.

Working on Mother's Day gifts today.

This one's for my mom





She enjoys the occasional drink. Ignore the giant, Master Shake-esque hand. I really don't know what happened there. But check out that stem stitch. Best I've ever gotten it to look, if I do say so myself.

And it's all thanks to this awesome book my grandma found for $.50 at a garage sale



I got that and about 20-30 yards of jersey knit for $4 all at the same sale.

Best. Sale. Ever.

I've been working on stuff for the upcoming art show at Delicious Ink. The theme is robots so I'm thinking vintage pin-ups that are secretly cyborgs.


Here are some in progress shots:




As you can see, the best lighting I could find for my crappy webcam shots was the bathroom.

***NOTE: Those are not my cigarette butts. I don't smoke anymore. Not like that, at least. Only when I'm drunk. Anyway, those belong to Matt's dad.




Here's a close up. You can kinda see some of the robot bits.

Yay, for robot porn!

And here's how I plan on finishing this today:




Half of that was drank already this morning and the other half went directly into the fridge for iced coffee throughout the day.

Fuck Starbucks, Fuck McDonald's. Iced coffee has two ingredients: ice and coffee. I have both. I think I can handle it on my own, thanks.